You feel GOOD. Why? Because between the little Instagram and Facebook apps on your phone screen, there’s that little white box with the eight little pink circles. The Jane app. OH it just looks so good there. So cute! Practically begging you to open it and use it. I mean… how could you deny it? So here we go. Just one quick look can’t hurt… right?
And yeah, it was worth it because when those pretty little packages show up at your front door and you open them to reveal your new, cute outfit… I mean…this IS what heaven feels like… right?
You decide to showcase your most recent haul and test out your outfit at the lunch you’re having with all your girlfriends this week. Talk about perfect timing! You glide into that cute café feeling A-M-A-Z-I-N-G and your friends don’t let you down. They keep commenting… complimenting you on your new shirt… your pants.. those cute gold earrings you found at such a good deal. And as they fawn over you and your new look all you can say with a smile is:
“It’s Jane. It’s the deals on Jane.com” Immediately the questions start coming and pretty soon your entire girl gang has the app on each of their phones. It starts off innocent… a group message of daily deals and the best finds. The new shoes Jennifer bought… the gorgeous pillow set Ashley found. But then the packages start coming. I mean… more than you expected. WAY more than what your husband knows about. Soon you’ve memorized exactly when the postman arrives at your door and you’ve mastered the art of sneakily smuggling those delightful Jane packages into your closet.
But it gets worse.
You have an alarm set for 11:55 pm, so that every night you can silently slip into the kitchen and break out that bag of chocolate to accompany you as you work at record speed on the Jane app for those daily deals.
Okay all cards on the table. If you’re being totally honest… sometimes you tell your family that you need to go run an errand… only to sit in your car in the parking lot outside of Trader Joe’s scrolling through the app for far longer than you intended.
You should’ve seen the signs the first day after you opened that app. Who would’ve known it would get this bad?
You know you should really listen to Marie Kondo’s advice and not keep adding and adding to your stuff. But guess with Marie?! It DOES bring me joy! What am I supposed to do now?
As months pass, you realize that you simply cannot keep living this secret life. Someone is going to find out. So you look at that little white app… so cute and happy and finally say to yourself,
“We had some good times together… Black Friday shopping spree… Valentine’s Day deals… President’s Day finds… but I think I need some space… it’s not you.. it’s me.” And holding your breath to hold back the tears, you delete that cute little white app from your phone.
Shouldn’t you feel better? Shouldn’t you feel complete? Probably… but there’s a little empty space where that app used to be.
No longer do those darling little Jane packages *magically* show up at your front door. You keep opening up your closet with dismay and think, “Oh, but it’s all the same now.” That joy… that special ping of happiness.. yeah, that’s gone now. It’s hard to sleep… hard to eat thinking about all the deals you could be finding. What about all those small businesses? What are they going to do now?
I mean…. YOU were helping them, right? You were actually attributing to the greater good. Didn’t you have a goal to reach out to others this month? Help someone? So using the Jane app is more for the benefit of them, right? Who are we kidding?! You were practically a saint when you had the Jane.com app!
Sounds like a good enough reason. It pays to be a loving individual. Your thought process leads you to the app store, and then before you know it, there it is again. A piece of your heart has returned. Back where it should be. Nestled in-between Instagram and Facebook.
And once again, all is right in the world.